10 Reasons I would get married
10. Gifts. Ofcourse, this could easily backfire as a good reason if you're friends suck at buying gifts!
09. Honeymoon. I just wish the concept of honeymoon was a more literal interpretation of its name. Imagine a moon made of honey (one would easily help the gravity issue since your moon boots would stick to the surface a little more). Honey is sexy, in fact, its partly made from sex, (bees, flowers, pollination). I'd settle for honey while on the moon; honey tea, honey waffles, honey bisquits, honey wife.
08. Money. I heard that divorce is at an all time high, so much that there are investment companies that will invest in your marriage, they pay you to stay together. Word, I made that up but two bank accounts are better than one and I think there's like tax benefits or something.
07. Crime. Its so much easier to rob banks with your spouse, the connection is adamantly and firmly defined. Not to mention the thrill of being criminals on the run used as a battery for passion and spontaneity to keep the marriage "fresh" and "new."
06. If the woman is Sarah Connor.
05. If the woman is Kylie Minogue's image.
04. Kingdom. If she's a Queen.
03. Blackmail. So romantic, full of grace.
02. Boredom. And its just marriage, its not like its permanent or something.
01. Divorce. saying "wife" isn't that cool to me, but "ex-wife" sounds so dope, especially if you're still young. I need to work out a deal and just marry a friend for a year and then we'll divorce one another so I could introduce her as my ex-wife to other people. Marriage is grown up stuff and divorce is twice as mature since it takes even more maturity to sit and say "you know what, this isn't working..." Imagine your toaster broke and instead of getting a new one you just tinker and tamper with it to where it warms up the bread and you just settle for warm when you really want toast. You just can't over do it. One divorce is all you need, otherwise it looks bad. If you keep buying toasters and they all break it starts to look like you're to blame not toaster's manufacturers.