Dark Matter

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope

March 21 - April 19

So the last few days are part of the last few weeks which make up at least 2 months of general despondency and lack of motivation. I've been crossed by feelings of directionless distress and creative anxiety. However, last night I began what might become the means to pull me out of the overcast gloom. After weeks of searching for inspiration or simply lacking interest in any subject willing to inspire, I now sit with a smile on face and obsession in ears.

I started a soundtrack.

Two pieces yesterday and one today. It feels good, productivity.

So yes, I started a soundtrack. Never mind you that there is no film, neither in the works or in post-production. I have the story in my head and I'm writing it as I go along, the film will be written to the score. I cannot divulge too much as I've noticed in the past that pleasing ideas become less interesting after you share them, they are that less yours and you resent it a bit. All I can say is it'll be titled Cosmonaut and I will find a way to have it available for all who wish to listen.

Today You Get To Say 'I Told You So'

by A.E. Paulino

I've been in the dead end of cave
caved in, I've been there with nothing of more
than a dull flame, asthmatic light almost out of lung
dullest makes gray separate from black
and to that extends its reach
thinking my gray a brilliant white
because its all available with nothing
of true light to compare against

all at once a scalpel dissects cave walls
and pure sunlight burns eyes to the back
of my dark vibrating mind
I sit and can't find that dull little flame
where has it gone and I remember
how clear it shone out in that absolute of cave

now I walk forward wishing to not squint
through eyelids like a veil over whispered-open eyes
I can't see anything but I know its clear and true
bright warmth on my face
embracing me back into a world
a world long from a detention
where I've been kept and made to miss
all the beams and rays that intensified
in between the days I've been caved
now in extreme fires of sunlight
am I made to adjust.

its also a question.

The Drowning Man

by A.E. Paulino

I heard the last roar of the storm
before an obsidian wave,
streaked by silver reflections of moon,
swallowed me under.
A crash cymbal in reverse
as ocean sucked me down.

Dark sea, the siren's song,
a panic of sudden loneliness
in a cold abysmal, I'm taken.
Life reaches upwards,
struggle drags me fathoms further,
I see nothing.

Still, my breath is held
and water does not fill my lungs

Though I cannot collect a visable assembly,
I know my ship is still in tact.
I must reach her.

On the surface, shoved every which way
by dark waves and pounding winds;
she won't break, certainty of such
becomes air for me.
Above she holds together by all
that gathered the strength of her framework.
Under, I push and pull
as harrowing tempests of desperation grip me.

To control less, to let go and abandon,
this lifts the body back to her;
yet, death consults without logic
inspires anxiety and weight as I sink.

Unless I float I'm not worth
a return to shore with her.

The Diary of Iris-Aurelie: 1

twelve days left.
she has been captured. throughout the palace halls, the daily shuffle of voices and commands haunt the silence that replaces them at hours of deep night. after dinner the air stood quite still. they announce the trial was to be held twelve days from now. so i began this log. a pain has begun to sting my stomach, must've been something I ate.

Sketch of Madame Iris-Aurelie