May We?

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope

March 21 - April 19

Aries is about Orange and Apple Juice. Its about making a fool of yourself but then dusting the dirt off and stepping right into your natural tempo. Its an older gentleman saying you have a "walk" and remarking that no one can talk to you while you walk 'cause you seem so far away even if you were standing right next to the person. Spring is the season that seasons you, adds flavor and compliments your taste to create an original note on the palette. Spring is one long Valentines Day, four months of a truly New Year. March or April should be the first month of the year, other countries know the deal, a year should begin with Spring not the climax of Winter. Today will be Wednesday, day of Mercury, messengers, Miercoles, words exchanged, hints noted.

Gilda Spins a Web

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope

March 21 - April 19

You will see a spider and you will recognize a fellow artist, and abstract designer, pattern-maker who creates elaborate, tenuous pieces whose sole function is in fact a practical one, nutrition. For this spider, like many others, spins its web to catch its meal; its meal is that which in turn keeps the spider from a morte fame.

Like many other Aries you do not kill spiders and have a very special appreciation for this insect that mainly feeds on other insects. You sit yourself seated and follow as the spider seemingly descends, suspended in air. You listen as the spider begins to sing you a song, its one you as an Aries have always known.

I Feel so Tongue-Tied

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope

March 21 - April 19

My thoughts are misguided and a little naive. I twitch and I salivate like with myxomatosis...

At the end of the summer, a friend of mine was off to the west coast; a farm in northern California. Before he left we hung out a bit and he introduced me to the idea of Saturn Return. In astrology, this is a period in an individual's life that occurs approximately every 30 years coinciding with the full revolution of Saturn around the Sun.

I got edited, fucked up...strangled, beaten up...

Saturn takes about 10,759 Earth days (29.5 years) to orbit the Sun. So every 29.5 years Saturn is, hypothetically speaking, in the exact same degree of orbit that it was when you were born. In Astrology this is meant to signify a crossroad for the individual, a time when things break apart for the personality and are soon rebuilt, leaving behind that which hinders one from their blah blah blah (astrological end for which the astrological means are justified).

I saw A Serious Man yesterday and I met a woman named Tuesday on Friday. I am a person who finds conspiracies in all things but not rationally, that is, the information doesn't add to anything but an irrational future based on an irrational past. Yet, it is interesting to collect the information, each like random decorations. They are pretty to watch but these decorations never end, so there is no celebration only a perpetual preparation.

I sat in the cupboard--I wrote it down in neat, they were cheering and waving, cheering and waving, twitching and salivating like with myxomatosis...

Cheering and waving...

It all starts to fall in place, you find your pace and you're better able to sort out that which you've spend the full occupation of the past to wind yourself up in.

But everything is here, right now and I just can't hold on to anything...it all just passes through me. What's worse is that I am aware--my consciousness, like a lighthouse that watches the sea, spotlights every ship that passes by my shore. And the ships, never stopping regardless of how bright I light them. "You can't stop what's coming. It ain't all waiting on you. That's vanity."

You should put me in a home or you should put me down. I got myxomatosis--I got myxomatosis...

It could be a Saturn Return but I'm not into the Stars as Psychiatrists, Jung was a man with some ideas and opinions and Saturn is a dense planet with a diameter about 9 times that of the Earth. Oskar is a drummer and I, a mongrol cat in a cupboard waiting for a nurse. I practice how magnificent I'm going to be when she pulls open the doors and beholds the pale ghost.

I would like to be A Serious Man, light a ship for the sole purpose of swimming out and catching it, or perhaps light the way for my own ship, out into the night's sea. Will it matter where Saturn watches me from?

Cheering and waving...twitching and salivating...

I don't know how, this is after all, my first time living. Still that isn't new, who's to say its ever gotten right. That it is gotten, is all we can be sure of, and its the best any of us can do.

Still, I'm just pulling at a thousand leads, bound by all the land I've wrapped around my lighthouse to keep it standing straight...the decades flying by but my--how the days are long!

Myxomatosis, I got myxomatosis.

That Sound in the Background

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope

March 21 - April 19

I could be a serial killer. It isn't the violence or the regard and respect for life that stops me. I stop me only from that last reserve of fear, a reservoir in fact, abundantly holding the thirst at bay, there is no thirst to go further so long as that fear holds me there.

I know perfectly well what would happen past that point. The thrill of acting out that desire, that freedom after drilling out of that fettering inhibition. How fulfilling to finish that which the mind initiates. How proud, how greatly satisfied, magnificently palliated even, as if it were from an ailment I were temporarily dismissed of; as it were it not rather from an ailment I was dismissed towards.

I could be a serial killer.

That first time would not be enough. Nothing is of a lasting duration, everything slips away or the memory becomes insufficient, I'm left a drunk sucking liquor off ice cubes. My thirst will not silence any less when that reservoir shrinks to a puddle. And that first time is all it takes to dry the reserve to half its inhibition. In its place, in the negative space, the half-empty, what plays in its stead is a dare, a thrilling, exciting dare that is always new, that displays for the first time for all to see what's there at the bottom of that man made lake. Fear becomes mud. One doesn't regularly drown in mud only gets himself dirtied. And in the mud there are two types of people, those who get partially dirtied and must become clean right there and then, and then there are those who don't see the difference between being a bit dirty and going further.

I have an obsessive personality, that is, I obsess and form habits easily. Given the amount of happiness or temporary pleasure I derive from certain activities I could become addicted no sooner than once after losing my virginity to that activity. It all takes nothing more than that first step past the last reserve of fear.

I could be a serial killer.

I'd repeat again and again, there's no reason as to why I should stop besides boredom. Even if I wanted to stop, if the personal satisfaction outweighed the personal discomfort afterwards, I wouldn't. The personal discomfort would probably be momentarily silenced by the next exorcising of the haunting act itself. This would become the final surviving bliss I'd be capable of, perhaps even suitable for.

Yet, all this said and nothing done as the reservoir is ever so faithfully obliging to that thirst. I am only a coward and can only empty the literary correspondent to that reserve through words. This isn't enough, its all a matter of how much you are aware of this fact, it isn't enough.

Terminator Salvation: Morning Drill

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope

March 21 - April 19

and so begins

man vs. machine

Aries, today they were drilling your neighbor's drive way and sidewalk. And you, Aries, do you not sleep towards the front of the apartment? Wasn't it true that here the noise was at its proudest volume? In the dining room, for this is where you sleep, is it not Aries? In this dining room that keeps the living room company at the front of the apartment through a doorless threshold, like two mouths opened at the connection of a kiss, at this border, was not the drilling a tad, let us say, unpleasant? Did not these mischievous immigrants of sound hop this border to pursue countless vocations to sustain the divorce between yourself and Madame Rest.

In fact let us be honest Aries, was not the drilling impressionably close? Impressionably crass and rude, or impressionably insulting. Surely it was, was it not, impressionably perverted against innocent Silence in her Evangelical skirts. Could not the drilling be said to almost be in the apartment? Audibly, it was! Audibly it was practically paying rent with a hole torn right through the lease where the drilling signed its name. Might as well! While we're here Aries, lets add to the "might-as-wells." The drilling might as well have used your bathroom and called you honey, might as well have fixed up a fine mess of a breakfast plate and on the seldom utilized dining table, commented on the weather while enjoying waffles and a morning fruit shake. Yes Aries, Drill would say this and more, all with the same hard stutter, rolling that same "R" 'til Kingdom Come; rolling far into the applications of infinity.

My, How We Hunger

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope
March 21 - April 19

You are walking in the street looking for a place that makes really good sandwiches, its really the bread that makes the defining difference. Its cloudy and light, ghost rain tempts you surrender your search. But you're hungry and demand to spoil yourself, this is supported by your stubborness. You know a place, and the sandwiches almost reach $15 and they taste like $25. Is it foolish? You know its bad for your pockets and everyone is singing them played-out 'economic blues' but you can already taste the rosemary ham and provolone cheese, the olive oil on the green and violet lettuce, the warm panini crust and the soft white bread like sheets of cotton underneath. As you walk down the familiar street, you know there's no interfering. You start to think about red wine to go with the sandwich; later you'll remember how broke you are. You're listening to Gazillion Ear by MF Doom as remixed by Thom Yorke. Despite the cold spring rain, you're electric.

Awkward To Be Human...Too many Hard Feelings

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope
March 21 - April 19

You'll be sitting and watching those around you in a cafe or diner of sorts. You'll be tired and drifting between thoughts that haze rapidly like overcast clouds, spreading above the weather of your mind. With friends, you'll sit and listen when distractions silently allow you to and tiny accumulations of boredom will no doubt begin to toll the borders of tolerance. Its rather dark and cool in the cafe or diner, with candles at each table to warm you up for the bad service. When the waiter finally waits you'll order some food and possibly eat it too fast and constantly wonder what you're still doing there. Sitting. Thinking. Barely participating in conversation, adding a joke or addendum but never initiating the body of discourse, never staking too much in its practice. What is it you want? Where is it you'd rather be? You can't help but know it isn't above that seat and under that dark ceiling nourished by some french music; interlaced with voices all crumpled together like a page with an error that looks at you and blames you for its existence. You want to get up and exit, alone. You'll leave the money for what you ordered on the table and go home. You wonder if your friends will be hurt by this behavior but you don't feel guilty or shameful for feeling as you do. You want to leave them.

Astral Traveller

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope
March 21 - April 19

If you're an Aries you are at this exact moment thinking back to the time I wrote this, when you were thinking that the time is perfect for collecting information and networking to find like-minded individuals to help one another achieve a common goal:

SPACE EXPLORATION!



All Aries are tired of Earth, its about that time we put our paper together and made a spaceship, get some lawyers so we could find some loophole that allows us to take that flight* (I'm pretty sure unauthorized space travel is illegal as all good things are; you would think the authoritative body, glad, to get rid of the disgruntled inhabitants). We need some construction workers, artists/architects, avant-scientist (a.k.a. meta-mega-alpha geeks), and a dope* stereo system, because what the hell is virgin* space travel without M83 and Yes! We don't need astronauts just lots of wikipedia and youtube research (a PhD. in physics, chemistry and any form of math wouldn't hurt either) and also anyone who just wants to see space and isn't at all afraid of the possible and very eager-likely chance that they will die as nobody on staff is certainly qualified to explore space.




*
1. "...take that flight" is a shameless reference to my friend,
Enchant Emerson's upcoming album, A N T A R C T I C A,
"take the flight" being almost the tagline of the album itself.
*
2. "dope" does not reference illegal drug substances,
it just means cool or awesome.
*
3. "virgin" does not reference Richard Branson's celestial ambitions
it just means virgin, as in first time.

Break Bread Not Hearts or Stomachs

My Monthly Aresian Horoscope
March 21 - April 19

You ate a couple of late night sandwiches,
good bread slices with kraft cheddar (extra sharp)
and mayonaisse...you thought yourself clever and
satisfied. You would've made tea but you were lazy
and tired. Shortly after you showered and fell to
bed, consequently, to sleep. In the morning, you
felt it.



Stomach stabs from that extra sharp cheddar, your
belly feels like its being crushed and ground down
by millions of tiny, ridged diamonds. You are not
doing well. At work you remember you have two 32
FL OZ of Tropicana Apple Juice that you left behind
and can't wait to get there and drink them. Maybe
buy more bread.

Pretty Little Neighbor

My Monthly Ariesan Horoscope
march 21-april 19

There is a very attractive woman that lives upstairs
from the store you work in. You are entertainedly
obsessed with asking her name but she's a fast walker
and the opportunity fails to raise its hand during
attendance. You plan to stand outside more of an often
than not, this of course, to feed the chances of
"accidentally" running into a small conversation
of the favorable variety. Such a delightful gambit
might issue you forward into a familiarity of
relatively welcomed proximity and the possible
checkmate of confirming your interests in this
loveliest of strangers.